Life's Little Details: Knitting, Sewing, Green Living, Frugal Living and Cooking In A Little Corner of Southern French Countryside.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Validate My Existence

Validate me, validate me, validate me... for I am a "people pleaser". That's what Mom always told me I was. This, for those of you who are not familiar with the term, is not really a good thing, but Mom wasn't insulting me. These words were usually part of her typical soothing mantra when I took someone's insults or meanness to heart and came sobbing to her for comfort. This need for others to accept me has lessened over the years, but I still crave a certain amount of others' approval even at my age. This need is, in part, why I write this blog. That may sound strange, but here's my reason...

I have always been at least moderately funny. I don't come from an extremely intellectual family, but we sure do have some laughs. We may have our other dysfunctions, but I love that about our family. Mom always taught us to laugh at our selves and not take things too seriously. This, though I may not have learned it as well as I should have, was one of her great lessons. Then, I did a silly thing. I fell in love with a Frenchman (from a family of proud intellectuals, to boot) and up and moved off to a foreign country, with an often even more foreign sense of humor. Yes, people, the French do have a sense of humor. It's just not always the same as OUR sense of humor. So, here I am, happy in my peaceful middle-of-nowhere home, but unfunny. It's a sad state of affairs for someone used to cracking little jokes in almost any situation for a chuckle or two. I've tried this in French from time to time, but really, I mostly just don't translate well. Either I say something totally off-color that gets me some really worried stares (women instinctively draw their children closer to them when I speak - that sort of thing) or my little joke falls flat, because I have to give a lengthy explanation of the meaning of an expression in English.

And, guys, I need to feel funny. It's a part of me. You may disagree about what's funny and what's not. I'm mostly over the need to please YOU on this matter, but I'm happy knowing someone out there reads this blog and finds my thoughts laughable. This blog fulfills that need.

But, to my great surprise and delight, the soon-to-be ex-wife of my husband's bestfriend, who has come to sort through some things they have stored at our place finds me funny. She kept laughing at my goofy asides and finally commented that she has always loved the Anglo sense of humor. Now, she's French - just so you are aware of the importance of all this. She even told me that the French don't have a sense of humor. I could have fallen down before her, weaping uncontrolled sobs and kissed her feet. Instead, I held back on all that and just smiled (from ear to ear, of course), because she had VALIDATED MY EXISTENCE!