"Chipmunk" Is the New Sexy

No, really, it is. You know how I know? Last night we went out to dinner at a restaurant to celebrate my mother-in-law's birthday. I may not have been stopping traffic (it is a mostly pedestrian city, after all), but I was certainly turning heads. That's right. People were staring at me. Yeah, you know you're jealous. Because that can only mean I was looking really hot, right? Right?

Don't even try to tell me it's because they were all wondering if I was born with that facial deformity or if I had elephantitis. Because I know better. I know it's because looking like a chipmunk is really hot.

I would have taken a little picture to share with you all (because we all need to know what I'd look like 30-50 lbs heavier), but with playgroup and then dinner out, I never got a chance. And, while I was out, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a tube of green clay, which is supposed to help pull the venom out of the skin. Be skeptical if you want, but I've applied it a couple times since, and the pain is pretty much gone. It still starts to itch again after a while, but the clay soothes the itching, as well. Not only that, but the swelling has also gone down significally since I started applying it. So, vive la green clay! Even if it does mean I have to give up my new-found chipmunk-like sexiness.