Shock and Awe

Operation Sterile Feline is well under way, and due to the superior technology being employed in the campaign, can be claimed a complete success. Yesterday evening, at dusk, we flew in below the kitty radars and caught them completely by surprise. By 2200 hours, the female had been trapped and safely transferred to an undisclosed location. After careful consideration by expert strategists, it was decided that a second pass would be made. Shortly thereafter, inspite of heavy rainfall and poor visibility, the male was also taken into captivity and placed with the female detainee. Despite showing momentary hostility, the captives were treated with the utmost respect and given a warm place to sleep. In addition to the swift capture of the pair, we are pleased to announce that, although several kittens were present, no casualties occurred.

Today, early in the morning hours, both detainees were transferred to a nearby medical facility for proper care and interrogation. They were both treated and given a clean bill of health before being released back into the custody of their captors. They were then allowed to rest for several hours before being presented with a meal. Although hesitant, they are expected to dine quietly in their rooms and sleep throughout the night before being rereleased onto their native lands.

I reiterate that the operation is a complete success, coming in well under budget and with a less-than-expected time duration, as well as zero casualties. The only remaining task is to capture the children to liberate them from their parents' ways and school them in our own (Operation Feline Liberation). This task may prove to be difficult, but we will stay the course. We are in this for the long haul. We will know more in the coming days, but we are confident of a complete and total success of Operation Feline Liberation.

**Breaking News Flash**

As of 2300 hours this 14th of June, two kitties have been taken into custody and reports have been heard of a third possibly roaming the area. Stay tuned for future alerts. As always, we will keep you, our valued viewers, informed.