Randomosity

Do you ever feel like your life has taken a tragic turn for the random? Not the worse, which I guess is good, though, certainly not the better, either. Just random. I know that word is often over-used these days. We throw it into casual conversation like we use the words "like" and "you know". You know what I mean, "Like I felt totally random, you know?" And, everyone nods their head in random agreement. Because it is random agreement. I mean, they don't know what you REALLY mean. Do they? Nah, I don't think so. Just like you have no clue what the heck this entire paragraph means. I'm making no sense. And, that is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm just random. You know? Like totally.

Though you don't understand a word I am telling you, that first paragraph completely sums up my feelings these days. A bit like feeling like I'm running around like a chicken with my head chopped off (that's a random-seeming event, if I've ever seen one), though, admittedly less gory. I just seem to wander from task to never-ending household task without much sense of purpose. I wash the laundry. I cook the meals. I do the dishes after cooking said meals. But, none of these everyday chores seems to give me a sense of accomplishment. They just feel like random duties on a track to nowhere in particular. There is no purpose behind any of these tasks aside from taming the giant that is our household. He's an angry giant, too. If I do not perform a certain number of chores daily, he gets downright unruly and takes over the house.

I've figured the randomness out, though. I know where it comes from. It is inherent to the job of being a housewife. When you work in an office or store or anywhere outside the home, you are presumably gradually working toward a goal of some kind... finally closing out that file, finishing up that report, making that sale, etc. There is always someplace you are headed, even if it is by no means a lofty goal. There is at least a tangible SOMETHING you are working towards.

Housewifery (or the job of Household Task Engineer, if you will) does not include goals you can count in this way. Sure, you can make a list and check off the chores as you move along in your day, but in the end, you are only repeating a daily cycle. The dishes will never fully be done, nor will the laundry. All the tasks you appear to conquer are really only temporarily appeased until the household giant rears his ugly head again after the next meal. In short, your work is never done. Yet, you continue to do it, because somebody has too. I think it must be a little like the satisfaction (or clearly lack thereof) of working on an assembly line. You are constantly working (in fact, you work so hard, you may never find the time for a simple potty break), and yet you never see a single task fully accomplished.

Why am I telling you all of this? I don't really know. I know one thing, though: most of the time, the blog posts I give you are just random thoughts about my life. Nothing too profound. I never share my political beliefs. I never tell you my deepest thoughts about any issue (do I have any? - you might actually wonder). My blog posts reflect only the superficial surface of my life. I guess they don't tend to offend, yet they will rarely strike that special chord in anyone's heart. They are just a depiction of the effect child-bearing has had on my life. I am almost incapable of having a full conversation without slipping tidbits about my children in (or at least thinking about them a little). I am not atypical in this. Lots of women appear to cease to be anything but Mommy for many years. Their lives take on a random sheen. No one who knows them could really say what it was they did before they had children. It's just part of the job. It's an all-consuming job. And, I'm starting to suspect that I will need to work hard to not allow it to consume me. I don't want to be random. Not entirely, anyway.

So, I have been thinking I may soon decide to step a little further out on the blogging limb soon. I actually do have some thoughts about the world. They may not be profound, but they are not completely random, either. Maybe I will begin to share them with you. Who knows what could become of that? Instead of just telling you about the desire I have to be frugal or why I've recently started shopping in thrift shops. These are not random decisions I have made to change my lifestyle. There are reasons behind them, yet I'm not sure you know that. I just show pictures of the things I have bought. You see nothing of the motivations behind the purchases. Because telling you about them would take some thought. Thought that I, perhaps, do not have the time to spend here. We'll see. It could be interesting... being a little less random.

But, since this post is all about being random, I won't start here. I'll just randomly throw out some kid pictures instead. Because, that is what makes my mother happy, and since her birthday was yesterday, I think making her happy is one task I'm up for. So, here are the two big kids with their new friend "Volcan" (volcano in French). He's lambchop #2's classroom bear. He gets to spend the weekend with each of the kids in the class. I was a little afraid of the responsibility this involves, but in the end, it was a great idea. Even Lambchop #1 took him under her wing a little, and he was quite popular with Lambchop #3. All in all, he had a nice couple of days here. And, I think these pictures show that (and, in keeping with this post's theme of randomness, I figure I may as well just place the pictures randomly here and there in this post).

Oh, and for those wondering what "randomosity" might mean to me, here's a definition for you:

"animosity toward all (or at least some) things random (like the random use of the word "random").