A Horrible End

(FIGHTING OVER CAMERA TIME)

I've recently been finding large ants in our bed. I only come across one at a time, so I never know where they're coming from. I usually just squash them when I feel them crawling on my skin at night. Not fun, but what else can I do? There's at least some amount of justice in this world, though.

One of them met a very gruesome end this morning. It apparently crawled into the baby's nose, got tangled in snot and could not escape. It must have been ugly, so where's my sympathy? Ask me that again the next time you're awakened by a car-sized black ant nibbling on your knee. Besides, it most likely bit my sweet, angelic sleeping baby, so it surely deserved what it got, right?

On a lighter note... or maybe not. I'm not sure. On a different note at least...

I've figured out why kids' songs really aren't for Mommy and Daddy. You might think it's just because they're irritating and repetitive, but it's the content we should avoid thinking to hard on. Take this one as an example:

This old man, he played one
He played knick-knack on my thumb [some versions use "drum"]
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played two
He played knick-knack on my shoe
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played three
He played knick-knack on my knee
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played four
He played knick-knack on my door
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played five
He played knick-knack on my hive
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played six
He played knick-knack on my sticks
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played seven
He played knick-knack up in heaven
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played eight
He played knick-knack on my gate
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played nine
He played knick-knack on my spine [some versions use "line" here]
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played ten
He played knick-knack once ag'n [some versions use "on my hen" here]
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

We all know it well, but have we ever really analyzed its lyrics? I sing it to my kids all the time, but yesterday, I saw it for what it really is for the very time ever. And, I was disturbed. Yeah, take a look at it a second time....

Who is this perverted old man, anyway? I'm not sure what knick-knack paddywhacking is, but it sounds suspicious to me. The old perv starts out innocently enough with doing his paddywhacking on my thumb and my shoe, but he soon works his way up to my knee. The old dog - we all know what a bone is. And, then you just can't get rid of the geezer. He starts stalking me. He's at the door. The gate. He's even worked his way up to my spine. Apparently, though, by the count of seven somebody's getting a bit fed up and tries to knock him off (though, I'd doubt with his behavior that he's heading off to heaven). It didn't really seem to work all that well, though, because by the count of ten, he's back at it again.

And, we're singing this too our kids. Between that and Hansel and Gretel, it's amazing they're not all in therapy by the age of 6.

Catchy tune, though, don't you think?

Anyone just completely unsettled by my mind's random wanderings? What can I say? I spend hours upon hours with kids' music and tv in the background. A mom's got to have a little fun. Anyway, I blame my parents. This kind of humor runs in the family - a family where the game of pool (where technical words like "stroke," "balls" and "stick" are said with a straight face) is really popular.

Oh, and for those who are concerned about the state of my house... I made some real progress on the baker's rack. It got mostly emptied (though much more organized piles of things still awaiting a home can be found on two shelves), and two of the shelves now have nice arrangements of pots and pans on them. Maybe we should make a little challenge for ourselves to post pictures of our worst clutter spots and vow to clean them up and then post the after shots. A little support group for those who tend to bury their heads in their knitting so as not to see the mess around them? Anybody with me on that one? I know it might take away from your knitting time for a while, but it'll be worth it if you can find those extra yarn balls hiding under a pile of old newspapers.